Go here to find out how my adventure began.
I just heard from my step-daughter Eva and could not believe she was asking for money, AGAIN! The nerve of that conniving little...Okay Mattie, deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Ommmm. There, calming down a little.
I mean, wouldn't you think after all the trouble she got into after she cleaned me out and threw me into that wretched Autumn Leaves home, she would have learned a lesson? If you want the full rundown of her exploits, read 'em here.
In an attempt to be charitable, I asked why she needed money. After a considerable time spent whining and sniffling about how "Mother Mattie, you know how pricey things are these days, with the economy and all, and that a dollar just doesn't stretch as far (more tears)," I finally zeroed in on her true objective: she just had to have a pair of Ed Hardy jeans she saw at Dillard's. As I pried the truth out of her, I quickly went online to check out what made these particular pair of pants so special. Hell's Bells! These jeans look like a pack of jackals attacked them and for this they want $149???? Are they nuts???? Not to mention the fact that she lost me at the words "Mother Mattie" which is an 'endearment' that just sets my teeth on edge and she knows it.
"What about a nice pair of Levi's?" I asked. "LEVI'S?," Eva shrieked. "I wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of those. They have no class at all." This coming from a woman who wore a blindingly orange swimsuit, peppered with enough sequins to make your eyes explode.
In spite of more tears and pleading on her part, I finally put my foot down and told her absolutely, positively not. I wasn't going to give her money to throw away on a pair of ugly, outrageously priced jeans that she will toss in a corner as soon as the next fad appears. Needless to say, she was not a happy girl and threatened to make my life miserable for all eternity.
Unfortunately, during the course of our conversation, I let it slip I was starting this blog as a diary of sorts. Hopefully, she won't find it, but knowing her as I do, I wouldn't be surprised to see her post a comment or two.
Get a hold of my adventure, The Trouble with Mattie, at these fine retailers.